Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 31, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EST

12:00 am
news. do hope you check in on "good morning america." they're working all night. jimmy kimmel's coming up next. we'll meet you back here tomorrow. >> dicky: tonight on an all new "jimmy kimmel live." >> we've wrapped guillermo in bubble wrap. we're going to drop him off the building. excited? >> no. >> dicky: kate walsh. >> this is the bomb, bomb diggity as some people say. >> jimmy: no one says that anymore. >> no? >> dicky: and music from fishbone.
12:01 am
12:02 am
>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. it's time for my weekly company meeting. on i need to get my business partner, adam carolla, my security chief guillermo, and a guy i met on the street, yehya, together. there they are in glorious high def. makes you available for hd video conferencing from your computer. how's it going, guys? >> good. >> good. >> jimmy: okay. well, let me bang the gavel and we'll get started. first order of business -- we have to decide what kind of food we want to have at the company football party. yehya, what would you like? >> hummus! i like hummus. >> no! i like mexican food!
12:03 am
>> wait a minute, guillermo, you're mexican? i was told you were swedish. i say we serve swedish meatballs, jimmy, that's what we should serve on sunday. >> jimmy: okay, all right, interesting. >> hummus! >> mexican food! >> swedish meatballs! >> jimmy: guys! guys! guys! how about this? i will make swedish meatballs -- dipped in hummus and wrapped in a tortilla. is everyone happy? >> all right. >> i'm happy. >> hummus! >> dicky: visit to try it free for 30 days. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with marc maron, music from fishbone, and kate walsh. [ male announcer ] extra polar ice
12:04 am
♪ icy, cool flavor in a delicious 5-calorie stick of gum. ♪ polar ice. from extra. ♪ introducing olive garden's new three course italian dinner for $12.95. start with either unlimited homemade soup or our fresh crisp salad, and all the warm breadsticks you want. then, enjoy one of five new specially created entrees, like our smoked mozzarella chicken or five cheese marinara with shrimp. finish up with one of five desserts. like our chocolate mousse. our new three course italian dinner, just $12.95. try it tonight at your olive garden when you're here, you're family. what makes a hershey's bar pure? pure togetherness.
12:05 am
pure friendship. pure delicious chocolate. pure hershey's. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- kate walsh. marc maron. and music from fishbone. with cleto and the cletones. and now, one more thing,
12:06 am
here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, everyone. hi, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] it's very nice. thank you. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] we're glad we could make this happen tonight. well, it's -- all right. i get it. enough already. [ laughter ] hey, today, as i'm sure you're all aware, is bubble wrap appreciation day. if you see some bubble wrap today, i'd like you to appreciate it. today is bubble wrap appreciation day. wednesday is national baked alaska day. friday is national carrot cake day. i'm not sure how these days started but i'm getting very fat
12:07 am
celebrating them. i guess their holidays are dumb but bubble wrap is worth celebrating, right? packing peanuts, i hate. i mean, could i -- they can burn in hell for all i care. but bubble wrap, how can you not like bubble wrap? bubble wrap has given us hours and hours of delightful little pops. tonight, to pay tribute to it, we have -- oh, hello, guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: passes for a snowman around here. we've wrapped guillermo in bubble wrap from head to toe. we've wrapped him in this stuff before. tonight, we're going to do something different. we're going to drop him off the roof of our building. [ cheers and applause ] are you excited guillermo? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: don't be a grinch. it's only like 50 or 60 feet. you should be fine.
12:08 am
okay. all right. head up to the roof. we're going to get you in position. there he goes. [ cheers and applause ] i'm sure he'll be fine. he's got a lot of natural bounce. we had a new episode of "the bachelor" tonight here on abc. bachelor ben journeyed to puerto rico to widdel his harem down to nine. there was nudity on the show tonight. courtney, the model that all the other girls hate, invited ben to go skinny dipping with her. believe it or not, this is the first time the bachelor has ever gotten completely naked on the show. first we elect a black president and now this. history is happening right in front of our eyes. it's kind of inspiring really. by the way, last week, we had a joke on the show last week, i don't even remember what it was, but part of it was this. we had a stick figure drawing of a naked woman and abc, the
12:09 am
network, made us blur or black the nipples out. of the stick figure. but tonight on "the bachelor," which is not on at midnight like we are, it's on at 8:00, there was no problem with this. >> we're really going for this, aren't we? >> you're only in puerto rico once. ♪ >> jimmy: once again, this -- [ laughter ] too hot for tv. having sex in the ocean in puerto rico, no problem. so that makes sense. this, on the other hand, is from the internet, where everything makes sense. apparently snoop dogg, the wr
12:10 am
rapper, hosts a regular segment on his youtube channel. it's a fictional news anchor named nemo hoes. >> advice for kris humphries and kim kardashian. the first advice is you dumb [ bleep ], you shouldn't have tried to wife the [ bleep ], man. let her do what she was born to do. yeah. >> jimmy: he's quite an actor. didn't realize it was him. i thought it was anderson cooper. tomorrow in florida, the republican primary election. most polls have mitt romney leading newt gingrich by at least 12 points but newt says he will stay in the race till the
12:11 am
convention no matter what. gingrich picked up an endorsement from herman cain. it's not unlike getting carrot top's endorsement for an academy award. it's the least he could do to thank gingrich for all the pizza he ordered over the years. it's adorable herman cain thinks anyone is still listening to him. >> speaker gingrich is running for president. and going through this sausage grinder. i know what this sausage grinder is all about. >> jimmy: i think if i was herman cain, i'd drop the word "sausage" and "grinder" from my vocabula vocabulary. but i'm not. [ applause ] sarah palin, by the way, sarah palin has also been supportive of newt gingrich but she hasn't made an official endorsement yet. her husband endorsed newt gingrich but he's a snowmobiler so nobody cares. sarah palin, on the other hand, has been dancing around her
12:12 am
endorsement of newt. which was the topic of much important discussion this morning on cnn. >> sarah palin singing newt gingrich's praises yet again. take a listen. >> if for no other reason, rage against the machine, vote for newt. >> all right, guys, why not just endorse him? if she did, how would it impact his campaign? >> because it's good for business to speak well of newt. >> i think she's spending her political capital very, very wisely with this. >> let her do what she was born to do. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here's a -- here's a newt gingrich-related item snoop might approve of. a rap song written to support the former speaker of the his house. when you think of rap, the name gingrich doesn't necessarily come to mind. the closest he got is when he
12:13 am
accidentally ate a cd because it said eminem on it. it's called hoot for newt. pretty hard core. ♪ hoot hoot hoot ♪ vote for newt ♪ who who who ♪ vote for newt ♪ n to the e to the w-t ♪ newt gingrich taking over these streets ♪ ♪ obama about to step out the white house ♪ ♪ there is nobody better ♪ 2012 everybody vote for newt ♪ hoot hoot hoot ♪ everybody vote for newt yeah >> jimmy: what a way to roll into black history month. [ cheers and applause ] the guys behind this say they wrote and recorded this song in one night, which that's impressive.
12:14 am
they wrote "hoot hoot hoot for newt" in one night. look out, neil young. i like to see an election that follows the plot of the movie "8 mile," you know? is he on the roof? let's check in with guillermo on the roof. there he is. like the abomable snowman, guillermo. does it seem like a better idea? >> no. >> jimmy: get mentally prepared. we'll come back for the big jump in a couple minutes, okay? [ laughter ] guillermo, how do you say "splat" in spanish? >> huh? [ speaking foreign language ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: [ speaking foreign language ] we'll check that in the dictionary. oprah had a birthday yesterday. oprah turned 58 years old yesterday. poor stedman. what do you buy oprah? i mean, an olive garden gift
12:15 am
card? [ laughter ] and how can you ever repay the woman who gave us dr. phil? you can't. oprah also gave us dr. oz. dr. oz does some strange things on his show. one week, he had a giant rectum built and he had people walk through it. he built a giant vagina and had a woman slide down it. he's like the worst theme park open raptor in the world. this is from dr. oz's latest. >> what's your name? >> eileen. >> eileen. >> i know your name. >> you know my name. so, do you have harirhairy nipp? >> um, yes. >> jimmy: he can always spot the ones who do. it's his gift. not only did poor hairy nippled eileen get embarrassed, her husband got dragged into it as well. >> do they bother you at all? >> no, my husband likes them.
12:16 am
>> is that your husband? >> yes. >> get a shot of him. you like the hairy nipples? [ applause ] >> jimmy: i mean, they have to move out of the country. you have reckoreconstructive su and start a new life in yugoslavia. we found this on youtube. we aired it on the show last week. a it's a video of a couple from wachahatchy, texas, and the russells had a baby in the car. >> oh! i'm pulling over, baby. >> good. >> i'm pulling over. >> almost there. >> okay. oh, my gosh. oh, my gosh. [ infant crying ] oh, my goodness. >> i just had a baby in the car. i just had a baby in the car.
12:17 am
>> jimmy: it's unbelievable. she's having a kid, making a phone call. he's driving, talking and videotaping. [ laughter ] all at the same time. [ cheers and applause ] it's incredible. it's multitasking at its highest. when i saw the video, i wanted to hear the story. we tracked the couple down. we have now via video chat zach russell who's the dad you did not see in the video and his new daughter willow who you did see in the video. hi, zach. congratulations. your wife and baby willow are doing well. >> yes. doing good. >> jimmy: great. let's start at the beginning. were you planning to have the baby in the car? >> no. wait -- sorry? >> jimmy: you were heading to the birthing center. how far away was the birthing center? >> 45 minutes. >> jimmy: that's a long way. did you wait too long? obviously, you did wait too long before leaving. did it happen just much faster
12:18 am
than you expected? >> yes, sir. she kind of told us when to leave and -- yeah, it was just -- faster than she thought. >> jimmy: you had one hand on the video camera and i think one hand on the phone at one point. who was steering the car? the baby? how fast were you driving? >> not very fast. it was a service road getting on to a highway. >> jimmy: after the baby was born, did you continue on to the birthing center or did you just go back home? >> birthing center. >> jimmy: and when you got there, oh, the umbilical cord was probably still attached, right? what do you do, just slam the car door to cut that? [ laughter ] >> that was them. we made our way to the birthing center and they were waiting for us and they took care of everything. >> jimmy: does medical insurance cover this or does aaa? [ laughter ] state farm thing? what kind of car, by the way,
12:19 am
were you driving? >> it's a ford focus. a two-door compact hatch bag. >> jimmy: have you had it washed? >> -- had a lot of everything -- >> jimmy: was willow also conceived in that car? >> no. >> jimmy: that would be that coon that ma tad da right there, wouldn't it? [ applause ] i wonder if this is -- this has got to -- will this help or hurt the blue back value? i don't know. will you keep the car forever now? >> yeah, we plan on keeping it. if she wants it, she can have it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a good way to make sure she'll never have any kind of anything going on in the back seat of that car i guess. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: did any of the other drivers see what was happening in your car? >> i tried to stay out of their range. i could see them. you'd see them looking around and then i'd hit the brakes because i didn't want them to see. >> jimmy: how did your wife stay
12:20 am
so calm? she's unbelievably calm through this. >> i know. it's -- we were well prepared. 12 weeks of bradley got us prepared for the first child. we carried that over to the second one. >> jimmy: you're wife is a teacher, right? what grade does she teach? >> fourth grade. >> jimmy: have her students seen this video? >> yeah. >> jimmy: if they ask where babies come from, she can just say "the car." [ laughter ] well, i'm glad it all worked out. i mean, that's terrific and it's great you got it on videotape although i don't know if i would advise it. >> i've been catching some flack from the internet but what do you do. >> jimmy: listen, you did what you had to do i guess. >> yeah. >> jimmy: congratulations again. please give your wife our best. [ applause ] she's very cute. all right. oh, speaking of cute, let's go back up to guillermo. guillermo is currently on the roof wrapped in bubble wrap to celebrate bubble wrap appreciation day.
12:21 am
are you feeling okay, guillermo? >> no. >> jimmy: you're going to be fine. we're going to count backwards from five and then you just jump right off the roof, okay? [ laughter ] all right. here we go. can we get a drum roll, please? [ drum roll ] 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! jump, guillermo, fly like the wind! [ cheers and applause ] guillermo? guillermo? all right. well, we'll check back in when we come back, okay? we have a good show for you tonight. comedian marc maron is with us. we'll be right back with kate walsh and guillermo too so stick around. [ male announcer ] when do you take 5-hour energy?
12:22 am
when i'm on the night shift. when they have more energy than i do. when i don't feel like working out. when there isn't enough of me to go around. ♪ when i have school. and work. every morning. it's faster and easier than coffee. every afternoon when that 2:30 feeling hits. -every day. -every day. every day is a 5-hour energy day. [ male announcer ] 5-hour energy. every day.
12:23 am
oh, actually it's hot chocolate... with caramel. caramel, huh? [ male announcer ] nothing says "i really love you" like the new caramel hot chocolate from mccafé. the simple joy of the sweetest thing. ok. ♪ the simple joy of the sweetest thing. ok. you could get money that's both fast and free on an emerald card. just bring in your tax information... and get a refund anticipation check in 7-14 days, for up to $9,999. call 1-800-hrblock to make an appointment. ♪ $5 ♪ $5 footlong [ male announcer ] februany's on! any regular footlong™ is a $5 footlong™... all day long. subway. eat fresh®. how do we get people to chew another piece? i got this one. oh hey. [ male announcer ] spit it out. or yeti will find you. [ grunts ] i like him. thanks ryan. [ male announcer ] new stride whitemint. the ridiculously long lasting gum. [ male announcer ] new stride whitemint. people are selling their old rides,
12:24 am
looking for something new. i would love better gas mileage. yeah... it kills me every time i have to go to the pump. that's it. i can't sit here a moment longer. i had no idea ford focus would have all this. this is awesome. does mileage matter? it's 40 miles... 40 miles per gallon. you've got active park assist. perfect. i usually have someone get out of the car and help me parallel park. but now, i don't need that. your mind is blown. it is. now, get a focus with up to $1500 cash back. get into the new at your local ford dealer today. the group of you have said "cool", maybe more than we've ever heard it before.
12:25 am
12:26 am
>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the program, a very funny guy. and host of the popular podcast called wtf -- marc maron is here. i did his podcast today. he said i was his best guest ever. and then, a legendary band. they just released this ep called "crazy glue," and they are the subject of this documentary, which i'm going to make the switch, "everyday sunshine" -- fishbone from the bud light stage. [ cheers and applause ] make sure to join us tomorrow night when the great martin scorsese will be here. kenneth branagh, and our musical guest is angels and airwaves. then later this week, john krasinski, tim & eric, from the new abc show "the river," eloise mumford, and we'll have music from gotye and korn. i'm a little concerned. how is guillermo doing?
12:27 am
do we have him? okay, there he is. guillermo? are you all right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're good? >> yeah. >> jimmy: nothing broken? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: can you get up on your own in that position? that's like watching a turtle. only funnier. give it a try, guillermo, come on, give it -- use all your determination. mucho gusto. wow. [ cheers and applause ] all right. i could watch this for an hour. [ cheers and applause ]
12:28 am
yeah! nicely done. and if your magic hat comes off, you will melt, so be so careful. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. very well done. our first guest tonight is a pretend medical professional. you know her from two seasons of "grey's anatomy," then followed by five seasons of her own show "private practice." watch it thursdays at 10:00 here on abc. please welcome kate walsh! [ cheers and applause ] great to see you. >> great to see you. i want to see guillermo like wrestle tigers. >> jimmy: he's indetractable right now. he could probably fight anything, right, guillermo? >> i'm hot right now. >> jimmy: yeah, i bet you could use a good hosing, couldn't you?
12:29 am
>> is there a zipper in the back or -- >> jimmy: is there a zipper? how's it work back there? >> nothing. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, he's all sealed up. let's keep -- for the rest of the week, let's celebrate bubble wrap week. >> aw. >> jimmy: i bet if you spent a whole week in that thing, you'd come out as thin as could be. >> i know. that's what the wrestlers should be wearing, right, remember in high school? >> jimmy: for safety. >> did you ever? >> jimmy: no. >> i didn't either. >> jimmy: i spent most of the time playing my clarinet in my room. the opposite of wrestling. >> i played clarinet. >> jimmy: we talked about that once. but it's cool for a girl. it's not so cool for whatever i was. >> it's not really cool for anybody except benny goodman. >> jimmy: and woody allen. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: speaking of cool, you had a -- you had a perfume last time or a fragrance i should say. >> we could say fragrance, perfume. both are accurate. >> jimmy: and it was called boyfriend. it was so successful you've now
12:30 am
upped the ante. the sequel is billionaire boyfriend. >> billionaire boyfriend. >> jimmy: why not millionaire? >> let's keep it 21st century. >> jimmy: how do you market a fragrance? because people can't smell it. >> you describe it. with as many flowery terms as possible. >> jimmy: how would you describe it? what are the words? >> i would say it opens with a delicious juicy bergamot fruit. >> jimmy: what if you don't know what that is? >> it's a fancy way of saying orange. yeah. >> jimmy: does smell pretty good. >> there's orangeys that you see -- they grow in italy right. >> jimmy: italian oranges. >> yeah, yeah, they're my people. >> jimmy: did you squeeze these oranges yourself? could we make a screwdriver out of this? >> that's basically vodka/o.j. in there. no. it's nice. jasmine and black orchid. >> jimmy: really, for real?
12:31 am
>> this is the bomb. bomb diggity as some people say. >> jimmy: no one says that anymore. >> no? >> jimmy: no, i'm sure. >> i like to live in the '90s. >> jimmy: you have a commercial for this i know. >> basically, this was just a con duet to get me to the bahamas to shoot a commercial. >> jimmy: you went to the bahamas? >> right. i'm like, let's shoot a commercial in the bahamas. >> jimmy: really? >> basically i wanted to wrestle an octopus. so to get there, i had to make this. >> jimmy: did you wrestle the octopus? >> okay, here's what happened. we got this octopus down there, which was difficult with customs and everything. it was this huge six foot foam octopus. we did a test, a dry run if you will, the day before. but in the water. and it was totally buoyant. it would not sink. so they took it -- the props designer, j.c., took it back to his hotel room with my assistant
12:32 am
derek, and it was this red octopus. and it just started falling apart so they wrapped it in a sheet and it started -- the paint started coming off and seeping through so it was two guys carrying this big giant thing wrapped in a sheet and they put it on the balcony to dry because it was starting to stink. and i guess people in the hotel, a couple of guests reported that they saw two guys carrying a dead body. and leaving it on the balcony. so, like, poor j.c. is -- it's like 110 degrees. finally gets this thing out there and six security guys are at his hotel door like wanting to arrest him. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, this is the bahamas. they're not going to "f" around down there. >> jimmy: they don't? it seems like they do nothing but "f" around down there. >> well, they do. >> jimmy: you did get the octopus under water and you were able to fight it? >> we did. it was a smaller version. it wasn't really -- i wanted to have this bond girl moment where i full-on wrestle it. i also thought it would be
12:33 am
funny. we did. it's more just like an arm mano a mano. >> jimmy: are you at all concerned people will think it's going to smell like octopus? it's like octopus in a bottle. >> i know, that's right. i hope not. >> jimmy: you hope not, yeah. well, we're going to take a quick break here because we've had a lot of nonsense. if you start to smell, we're going to spray some billionaire boyfriend on you. >> okay. >> jimmy: kate walsh is here. "private practice" airs thursdays at 10:00. we'll be right back. people keep asking me if that lady in the viva commercial
12:34 am
is really my mother. they keep asking me if the dirty guy is really my son. huh -- what do you tell 'um? holy smokes, these viva towels really are tough, even when wet! [ mike ] for the record, that's my real father, cleaning up a real mess on a real grill. see? very impressive! you're a natural. oh that's much better... dad's got his tough mess, i've got mine. [ female announcer ] grab a roll and try it on your toughest mess. i think you got it. with smooth caramel and chocolate. ♪ hmm twix. also available in peanut butter. with listerine® whitening plus restoring rinse. it's the only listerine® that gets teeth two shades whiter and makes tooth enamel two times stronger. get dual-action listerine® whitening rinse. building whiter, stronger teeth.
12:35 am
from centrum. it puts you in the center of everything that's good for you. its unique self-assessment tool helps identify the multivitamin and supplement combination that's right for you and your lifestyle. so visit new and take your personal assessment today. better nutrition is within reach. centrum. nutrition possible. chase freedom is offering hi5% cash backh. at gas stations this quarter. wow. thanks! beep. beep. activate your 5% cash back. at [ male announcer ] little owen wanted to play, but his nose was raw and sore. achoo! [ male announcer ] and common tissue made it burn even more. ♪ puffs plus lotion is more soothing than common tissue,
12:36 am
and it delivers our most soothing lotion for every nose issue. a nose in need deserves puffs plus lotion indeed. to give your cold a comforting scent, try puffs plus lotion with the scent of vicks.
12:37 am
12:38 am
you rejected me. >> i didn't reject you. >> i asked you to have sex with me and you said no. >> i cannot have sex with you. >> oh, you rejected me again. >> i'm sorry but i can't. >> am i hideous? did i become hideous? >> you are gorgeous. >> wait, was it the eating? did it freak you out? >> your eating is oddly very sexy. >> is it because you saw my vagina in a medical way? all right, wait, don't answer that. >> jimmy: in a medical way. [ applause ] kate walsh is here. that's "private practice." that's benjamin bratt. he's a fertility specialist. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. i'm glad they didn't end on vagina. and cut to me. >> jimmy: you're in a little bit of a love triangle, your
12:39 am
character anyway, with taye diggs. >> what else is new? it's like a geometry class over there. >> jimmy: is it legal to have a relationship with your fertility doctor? >> i don't know. in some states. probably in l.a. >> jimmy: i guess it doubles your chances of getting pregnant. everything except the stick figure is legal here. >> you know the rules. >> jimmy: you're returning to "grey's anatoanatomy." is it this week? >> i think it is this week. >> jimmy: it's so alternate reality? >> yeah, it's alternate reality episode. remember? i'm old. it's an altered reality in which things are a little different at seattle grace. such as derek and addison are still married. she's pregnant. the chief of staff is, you know, meredith's mother. so it's all kind of -- i joke that patrick looks a little more like mcdreary than mcdreamy. >> jimmy: it's set from back when you were -- set in -- >> yeah, it goes back to where i
12:40 am
was on the show. >> jimmy: has anything changed since 2005? is it like -- has fashion -- i wouldn't even know. >> well -- >> jimmy: would we look at people and go, oh, that's so 2005? >> no, maybe the hair is a little bigger. i don't know. i think they went for the other -- the wardrobe's different. all the guys are wearing white coats. they look like mad scientists. >> jimmy: it will be fun to see you -- it will be like the old days. >> it was like the old days. like going home for the holidays. and then -- >> jimmy: except without your family. it's even better. it's great to see you, congratulations on the show and on billionaire boyfriend. if you want to smell like a billionaire, this thing has money ground up in it. kate walsh, everybody. watch "private practice" and "grey's anatomy" on abc. be right back with mark maron.
12:41 am
♪ untamed fruit flavor. jolly rancher. means i don't have any margin for error. one wrong turn and i could end up unloaded a puddle of water. woman's voice: turn right ahead. so i make sure i have the right guidance to get me exactly where i need to be. it's the same with taxes. turbo tax has a unique gps feature that guides me step-by-step, so i know it's done right. they even offer representation in case of an audit,
12:42 am
and calculations are guaranteed accurate, which helps me reach my maximum refund--guaranteed. man: try turbo tax online now. you don't pay unless you're satisfied. how do we get people to chew another piece? i got this one. oh hey. [ male announcer ] spit it out. or yeti will find you. [ grunts ] i like him. thanks ryan. [ male announcer ] new stride whitemint. the ridiculously long lasting gum. [ man ] wait. this doesn't look like a new year's resolution.
12:43 am
this looks like steak. thick, juicy, satisfying steak. this looks like anything but a resolution. [ male announcer ] applebee's introduces fresh new choices, all great-tasting and under 550 calories. like our sizzling asian shrimp & broccoli, roasted garlic sirloin, and sizzling chili lime chicken. starting at just $9.99 at applebee's. come in and try one today and get half-price appetizers late night.
12:44 am
never in my lifetime did i think i could walk 60 milesesn 3 days. if my mom can fight and beat breast cancer,
12:45 am
i can walk 60 miles. (woman) the fund-raising was t(e easiest part. people were very giving. complete strangers wanting to help. i knew someday i was gonna do this walk. if i can do this, you definitely can do this. we can do this. we can all do this together. (man) register today for the... and receive $25 off your registration fee. because everyone deserves a lifetime. they're itchy, dry and uncomfortable. i can't wait to take 'em out, throw 'em away and never see them again. [ male announcer ] know the feeling? get the contacts you've got to see to believe. acuvue® oasys brand contact lenses with hydraclear® plus technology,
12:46 am
keeping your eyes exceptionally comfortable all day long. it feels like it disappeared on my eye. [ male announcer ] discover why it's the brand eye doctors trust most for comfort. if you have astigmatism, there's an acuvue® oasys lens for that too, realigning naturally with every blink. ask your doctor for acuvue® oasys brand. so you don't want this? nope, i'm good. that's very mature of you, cheese. why, thank you. this is a real breakthrough. in the past, you may have been... well, you've come a long way. [ muffled giggle ] totally. joe, they need you in the c-- what? you have a... i have a... yeah. [ giggling ] oh, can i have that slingshot back? [ male announcer ] we take the time for our cheese to mature before we bake it into every delicious cracker. because at cheez-it, real cheese matters.
12:47 am
watch your step, folks. keep movin', please. before we bake it into every delicious cracker. [ announcer ] to do a job well, you need the right tools. [ thuds ] that's not gonna work. so if you're filing your taxes online, make sure you pick the right tax software... with h&r block at home. nobody offers audit protection like h&r block at home. the only software with both free audit support... and representation from a tax pro, who'll be right there with you in the unlikely event of an audit. h&r block. never settle for less. oh, actually it's hot chocolate... with caramel. caramel, huh? [ male announcer ] nothing says "i really love you" like the new caramel hot chocolate from mccafé. the simple joy of the sweetest thing. ok. ♪ ♪ yeah ♪ ♪ can you feel it out there? ♪ ♪ you gotta lift yourself up ♪
12:48 am
♪ that's right [ male announcer ] join the masters of style... even trimming, a close shave, and accurate edging... with the new gillette fusion proglide styler. ♪ yeah [ male announcer ] new fusion proglide styler from gillette.
12:49 am
12:50 am
>> jimmy: welcome back. fishbone will be here. our next guest is a funny and insightful man whose conversations with other funny men and women can be heard on his very popular biweekly podcast, which has been downloaded more than 40 million times by two crazed fans. the podcast is called "wtf with marc maron." please welcome marc maron! [ cheers and applause ] this is wonderful because you're here on my show and i was on your show. >> today, went up today. it was very exciting. >> jimmy: does it seem like people enjoyed it, our conversation together? >> it's coming in still. we'll see what happens. >> jimmy: the reviews? >> no, they love it. it's been downloaded over 160,000 times already. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. great.
12:51 am
>> jimmy: i enjoyed speaking with you, i have to say. it was fun. you asked interesting questions i thought and it was a lively pace. a lot of podcastes are just, you know, some teenager in -- >> yeah, like four teenagers around one snowball microphone going, is this good, is it happening, i think people will like this. all right, that's the episode. >> jimmy: for those who don't know what a podcast is, and there are a lot of people -- >> like my father? >> jimmy: he doesn't know? >> he's been on the show three time also but he can't figure out how to download it. >> jimmy: it is complicated if you don't know what you're doing. >> you have to push a button on a computer. it's really tricky, jimmy. >> jimmy: there are no buttons. you have to take the thing and click and the arrow. >> there's this old school thinking. like, how do i put it in the pod? what, are you [ muted ]? >> jimmy: just old, you know. i mean, after figuring out how to put the beta tape in, you're lost from there. >> he's still sitting over that machine going, what do i got to
12:52 am
do? >> jimmy: you've had a lot of high-profile guests. >> it's interesting because i do this show out of my garage in a weird small neighborhood. and i've had conan o'brien come up there. i've had corral la come up there. steven wright comes up there. it's not a studio situation. here, you come in, get makeup, a lot of people involved. at my house, i got to stand out front going, is that steven wright? to see steven wright wandering around your neighborhood is beautiful. he can make anything funny. you just sort of want to let him be lost for a while. here i am, over here. corolla comes. my neighborhood across street sees corral la and after he leaves, he goes, that was the guy from the thing, right? i'm like, yeah, adam corral la. he's like, i should have had him look at my car. i got old cars. he's the guy, right? he works on old cars. you know what, i'll call him. see if he'll come back. >> jimmy: do people stay -- when you're at your garage, do they stay too longer?
12:53 am
do you escort them out? >> it gets a little weird. you know, i'm not -- i don't know -- i know people kind of in passing. like we've met a couple times. >> jimmy: you booked me at a furniture store. absolutely true. >> i talk about that on the podcast. that was hilarious that moment where i walk up to you and say, can i help you, jimmy? you had a moment where you're like, does he work here? >> jimmy: i was hoping for the best. i hope you got a commission on that dresser though. >> i did, and it's still under warranty. no, it is interesting, because i don't quite know what to do afterwards if someone's lingering. because i am still sort of a fan of people. like i had jon hamm in my house, interviewing him in the garage. then he wants to hang out, maybe have some coffee afterwards. in my mind, i'm not equal. it's don draper sitting on my deck. and i got to sit here and act normal for ten minutes? but usually it works out. conan lingered a long time. that was awkward.
12:54 am
but i was honest about him because i've been on his show a lot. i know people but i still don't see -- i'm working out of my garage, jimmy. >> jimmy: it's weird having them in your home. >> i talked to him about it, where i literally needed him out of my house. because after a certain point, i don't care who you are, conan's standing in your living room and we're done talking. it made me uncomfortable. we're not going to hang out. you're done here. it's weird. >> jimmy: yeah, well, yeah, well, that's -- maybe you want to get an office. >> that would bring -- that would change the whole tone. >> jimmy: would ruin everything? >> yeah, because it's weird because people always come to my neighborhood. i live in highland park. how can i describe it? the day after new year's, the back windshield on my car had shattered. i thought someone shot into the window. it turns out, he says, no, no, don't worry, the bullet fell out of the sky. this is the kind of neighborhood i live in. whenever there's a holiday, they'll shoot guns into the air so it's a latino neighborhood --
12:55 am
>> jimmy: sometimes you have to celebrate. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's why you have to wear bubble wrap. you can never wear too little bubble wrap. >> the guy said to me, you might want to check your roof, this happens every year. what are you talking about? bullets in the roof. so that's the kind of neighborhood. now i'm not going to be able to get anyone to come up there. >> jimmy: probably not something you should mention. because you had the podcast, people listen to it, come to see you when you do stand-up comedy? >> it's very interesting. i'm very open. i talk a lot about my life. a lot of people that know me about the comic, they know me as that. but the people in the podcast, they know me, they know everything about me. i got all these new people coming to the shows. i'll do an hour, hour and a half of standup. it will be a great show. they'll go, the stand-up was okay, but did you ever solve that ant problem? i heard you had a toilet problem, is that fixed? yeah, it was fine. we were concerned about the cat. is the cat okay? >> jimmy: do you think that's good? it's definitely a compliment
12:56 am
they know this much about you. >> i love it. they bring me a presence -- >> jimmy: what do they bring you? >> a lot of baked goods for some reason. i have just a legion of people that bring me baked goods. which is, it's nice but after a certain point i don't like to throw food away and then i get fat. >> jimmy: you eat the stuff strangers bring you? >> i'm sitting in the room with it. not only do i eat it, but i bring it back to the hotel. so after a show, i'm sitting with you know 50 cookies and cakes and brownies. it's like the saddest bake sale you've ever seen. like no one's coming. it's just me and i'm like, i'm eating this. like, i never pictured myself as -- i thought i'd be on the road. we'd have parties. there would be girls, drinking. just me eating brownies. like do i really want to reward myself and -- that would be just too much. just me -- [ applause ] alone, surrounded by cookies. i made it. >> jimmy: well, so tell people if they want to listen to us and
12:57 am
then you going forward how they would do it. >> well, you can go to it will take you to itunes. the most recent 50 are always up there. you're up there. steven wright up there. russell brand, norm mcdonald. a bunch of other people. richard lewis. i did jonathan winters. there's also a back catalog. there's 250 of these things. go check it out. >> jimmy: well worth listening to. marc maron, everybody. and we've got a comedy cd there. it's brand new. it's called "this has to be funny." we'll be right back with fishbone! he's just very thoughtful.
12:58 am
12:59 am
he knows, like, things that make me happy. he totally knows howto make me . i like being the guy who makes things happen... makes thingsork. i, um, try and shake things up so that it doesn't just become routine. always, like, having fun together. it's adventure. keeping it ieresting. this valentine's day, show her she's loved
1:00 am
with the helzberg diamonds gift box, godiva chocolate gems and diamond pendant. i love you. you do ? >> jimmy: this is a documentary dvd, they are in it. it's called "everyday sunshine." the story of fishbone. here with the title track, fishbone! ♪ ♪ i wish every day the sun would shine take me to another
1:01 am
place in my mind where everything is beautiful and no wants or needs no sign of greed could rule our soul ♪ ♪ how i wish everyday sunshine how i wish everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ if we could fly away on wings to a place where all could be true ya'll ♪ ♪ and the skies so blue the sky so blue and love was true as me and you ♪ ♪ how i wish baby everyday sunshine ♪
1:02 am
♪ yeah yeah yeah how i wish ♪ ♪ yeah yeah yeah everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ everyday sunshine everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ everyday sunshine everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ everyday sunshine everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ ♪ i wish every day the sun would shine ♪ ♪ take me to another place in my mind ♪ ♪ where everything is beautiful and no wants or needs ♪ ♪ no sign of greed could rule our soul ♪ ♪ how i wish everyday sunshine ♪
1:03 am
♪ how i wish everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ everyday sunshine everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ every day the sun will shine ♪ every day the sun will shine ♪ oh, yeah ♪ everyday sunshine everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ everyday sunshine everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ everyday sunshine everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ in your darkest hour in your time of need ♪ ♪ persecution and pain may reign but you gotta make the rain sunshine ♪ ♪ when you've lost your way hey when love and hope have fade away ♪ ♪ when it looks like no tomorrow that's when you gotta pray that's when you gotta say ♪ ♪ everyday, everyday everyday, everyday everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ everyday, everyday everyday, everyday everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ everyday, everyday everyday, everyday everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ everyday, everyday everyday, everyday everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ wasting half your life on drugs and you're down and feel unloved ♪
1:04 am
♪ let me tell you something brothers and sisters ♪ ♪ rain sunshine rain sunshine ♪ ♪ when you think that you can't handle it ♪ ♪ do you think you can really hang with it ♪ ♪ well there's a remedy to this doldrum ♪ ♪ everyday, everyday everyday, everyday everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ everyday, everyday everyday, everyday everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ everyday, everyday everyday, everyday everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ everyday, everyday everyday, everyday everyday sunshine ♪ ♪ let me tell you ♪ everyday sunshine ♪ to the power that lift you higher ♪ ♪ sound like a ball of fire ♪ everyday sunshine ♪ yeah clap your hands ♪ everyday ♪ everyday ♪ everyday ♪ everyday ♪ everyday sunshine


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on